Thursday, March 18, 2010


Finally managed to meet up with Boom to give him his birthday presents.

It's been so long since we've seen each other that it was a little awkward. I just wanted to give him a big hug but he was a bit distant. I should have been expecting it but I was just so pleased to see him again.

He has got so much on his mind - his mum's illness has meant that he has no real life of his own these days - it's just been hospitals, operations, doctors, tests, consultants, worry and stress. He says he knows she's not going to get any better - they are just prolonging her life. What can you say to that? :-(

He's thinking of getting rid of his car as he may not be able to afford paying for it and to cap it all, he's been summoned to his work HQ, so he could be out of a job too, or at the very least downgraded.

He's in a rotten rotten place, but he won't let me in to help him. I don't want him to feel that my offering to help  is turning into badgering but I don't know what to do.

At least he didn't just shoot off  after picking up his presents and did stay longer than I thought he would but oh, still too brief. There was so much I wanted to tell him but my mind was just blank, just taking in that he was there.

I cannot give up on him or our relationship but it isn't easy. I just wish I knew what to do or say *sigh*.

Not sure when I'll see him again.


  1. Oh Weenie! Big hugs for you too! It's really hard to watch someone else going through a hard time and be kept on the outside.

    I don't know what to suggest. I am a bit like Boom - I push people away when I am worried, sad or scared and I don't know what anyone could do to change that - it's just my way of handling things and presumably his too. But for me at least, if people loiter in the wings and i know they are there, it does help and when I am ready then I go back to being me again. So don't give up, just hang on in there and be ready.


  2. Thank you - I shall try.

  3. Sorry to hear you (and him) are having such a bad time recently. He'll come round in time but men don't multitask very well so if he's focused on his mum then that's kinda natural.

  4. Cheers RS - yep, don't expect anything else from him but it's just not easy.