Pants On Fire

It's been a while since me and the glamorous C have had a proper chat and get together - her European trips are in full swing now and when she is in the UK and in the office, we try to catch up for lunch but you know how it is, it's not possible to talk properly with colleagues milling about. We've both been seemingly preoccupied at weekends so it's been a long time since we spent quality time with each other.

Anyway, the other day over lunch, in between talking about work, she just slipped in that all was not well with her and her sugar daddy. I think I carried on munching on my sandwich for a second or two before I realised what she was saying.

I was surprised as I didn't see it coming although now in hindsight, there were a few comments that she made recently that seemed a little odd and she didn't mention him so much, but I just put it down to her being too busy with work, kids etc.

My overwhelming emotion at the news however was that of relief.

Relief because I personally thought he was too old for her, even with his lied-about age - maybe it's just me, I admit that I do have an age issue but you know, 18 years must still be too much in many people's books…

Relief because I thought uncharacteristially, she'd been swept off her feet by wealth, power (perceived) and celebrity friends but has now finally seen the light. Or the truth.

Relief because I thought things were going too fast. Yes, I seriously thought I had to go and look for a wedding outfit soon.

Relief because my gut feeling told me that he was just a dirty old man after a young bit on the side but I couldn't say anything at the time, she was so much in love, although I'm sure she knew what I was thinking.

But most of all, relief that my mate seems to have emerged unscathed, emotionally and financially intact, with no regrets. That's my girl!

For a while, he did make her smile and laugh and she was deliriously happy.

But when it gets to a stage that you don't trust what someone is saying and you feel that you have to check their email account or texts on their phone, there is something seriously wrong…

Now, I'm here for her should she wish to plot any vengeance, although she seems to be doing quite well on her own. I shall give advice (when asked) to make sure it's all legal and be there to cover her tracks if need be!

Anyway, an old flame of hers (whom I shall hereinafter refer to as the Parrot) is possibly next on her agenda (she doesn't hang about). If they get it together again - and she has not denied that they will not, plus I offered to come round to hers this weekend but she had a better offer... she's meeting the Parrot - it shall provide me with no end of frivolity!