Saturday, October 21, 2006

Crossed Legs

It's a horrible feeling when you're dying for a pee and you know it's going to be a very loooong time before you can get to a toilet....

Left work on Friday to play badminton with the Glamorous C - should have stopped off at the ladies' loos before I drove off but I figured the sports club was only a few miles down the road, 4 junctions away on the motorway, only 15 minutes drive away....

What a mistake - apparently there was some accident 8 junctions north, some fuel spillage, causing 2 lanes to be closed off for re-gritting, leading to a 15 mile tailback...and once I'd gotten onto the motorway, I couldn't get off...

The traffic was at a standstill, creeping along at a snail's pace and my bladder was getting fuller and fuller by the minute.

I kept eyeing my water bottle and the thought crossed my mind that if I emptied the contents out of the window, I could find a way of relieving myself in there...but the bottle was very small and my bladder very full and it's easier for guys to do stuff like that!

I had my music on full volume as a distraction but the bass vibrating against my car windows seemed to make my predicament worse so I turned it off and just willed/prayed for the traffic to move.

Every time my car crawled past a grass verge, I wondered if I should just pull up on the hard shoulder and squat down...but in front of all those headlights and all those people in their cars? I was desperate but I just couldn't do it.

An hour and a half later, I pulled into the carpark and agonisingly shuffled to the toilet and had the longest wee ever...

Was pretty worn out after this ordeal - was tempted just to dive straight into the sauna to relax but we ended up playing one good badminton game and a couple of so-so ones where we weren't really trying and finally relaxed in the sauna.

My brain is now emptied of all things workwise - it's been a really tough couple of weeks, this past week has been a real strain but I'm going to forget all about it now and relax!

1 comment:

  1. lol, too funny!
    reminds me of the scene in Two Weeks Notice.. at least it wasn't that bad!