Thursday, January 22, 2009

Benefits of the Grape

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING - SIDE EFFECTS:

The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!

6 comments:

  1. haha you are funny. No point trying to get it on prescription as I think it is cheaper in the shops.

    I am a red wine drinker (well, not at the moment) but I would never turn down a glass of white.

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  2. But what do you do when you've taken so much of it in your youth that your liver won't let you take any more? How do you solve those issues then, eh? Eh? ;-)

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  3. I prefer red too RB, partial to a bit of rose too but white is nice now and again.

    Haha Rol, let me have a drink and try to think up a solution!

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  4. I had one too many beers last night during the match and had a hangover this morning :(

    I forgot how horrible they were....

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  5. RS, you've been teetotal for a year, your liver has forgotten how to cope but it'll come back...like riding a bike! Good luck in the final!

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  6. still there is nothing like it. i'm an avid red person but recently have enjoyed the lightness (and whiter teeth) that comes along with whites. it's better than therapy don't you think?

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