Letter from...

Just got back from Chinatown having stuffed our faces. Nothing else to blog about, but this just popped up in my Inbox and it made me chuckle:

Letter from the Penis

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

In response:

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the Administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65
You are unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.