Who's the Best?

The SAS, the Royal Marines and the Police decide to attend a survival weekend in order to determine who is the best.

After some basic exercises, the instructor tells them that their next objective is to go into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it, ready to skin and make rabbit stew for their supper.

Night falls.

First up - the SAS. They kit up in infra-red goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for five minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled 'phut-phut' of their trademark 'double-tap'. They emerge with a large rabbit, shot cleanly between the eyes.
"Excellent!" Remarks the instructor.

Next up - the Marines. They finish their lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the night rings out with the sound of machine-gun fire, hand-grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.

"A little messy," says the instructor, "But you've achieved the objective. Well done!"

Last up - the Police. They walk into the woods slowly, hands clasped behind their backs, whistling 'Dixon of Dock Green'.

For the next few hours, the silence is broken only by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie, "Sierra Oscar Lima One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems like an eternity, they emerge, escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.

"What do you think you are doing?" Asks the incredulous instructor. "Take this squirrel back into the woods and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!"

So back go the coppers. Minutes pass. Minutes turn into hours. Night drags on and eventually turns into day. The next morning, the instructor and the other teams are awakened by the return of the Police, still holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.

"Are you taking the piss!!??" Screams the fuming instructor.

The Police chief gives a menacing glance at the squirrel, who squeaks:

"OK OK, I'm a f*cking rabbit!"

Well, I had a chortle at this anyway! :)